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Newborn life was quiet with Ashlyn, which really surprised me. I had heard about quiet babies but did not expect to have one. Ashlyn never really fussed a lot and we got lucky, she only ever spit up like twice. We are not into any form of cry it out, so she never really had a need to cry a lot and I loved to carry her around. We had a bassinet in our room, so she could sleep next to us and we used that until she got too big. Then we moved her into her crib, again this was harder for me than her.
I put a blowup mattress on the floor of her room and slept next to her crib for the first 3 nights she slept in her crib. Since by the time she was too big for the bassinet she was sleeping through the night it was great. Her first night she fussed a little once but otherwise we had a good transition to a crib. I took 3 months off work, unpaid unfortunately, and when I went back to work it was only part time.
My mom had agreed to watch her with the provision that we had to do some form of group. This was so she would get to be around other babies and kids. Leaving her to go back to work was so hard for me even though I knew she was fine with my mom. She had spent lots of time with my mom, but I was still one of “those” moms. I requested my mom text me how much she ate and when, when she slept and all that fun stuff.
My husband has always been really hands on with Ashlyn and she is a daddy’s girl all the way. He would even hold her while he played on the computer so she could have daddy time and he could still game 🙂 They would even take naps together.
Now this child may have been a fairly easy baby, but we had plenty of rough patches and she knew how to give you a poor me face.
Now we had already decided that we were going to be one and done for now (hence the tubal ligation during the c-section). If we are ever in a position to be able to afford another child and have the room (we are in a small 2-bedroom condo) then we will adopt.
I got to thinking as we planned her 1-year birthday, if we had decided to have another we would likely have not had a second easy baby. Compared to most babies she was easy. She was happy, only spit up 2 times and only had 1 diaper blow-out (it was very minor). Ashlyn is a small child, so we actually spent time in each size of clothing (she was in newborn till she was about 3-4 mo. old). We got lots of use out of her clothing and she never took a pacifier, so we never had to deal with getting rid of them.
Traveling with a baby
We flew with her when she was about 6 mo. old and she was great. She would fall asleep on takeoff and did not wake till it was almost time to land. I stressed so much and ended up having no problems, however I wanted to share some tips that made life easier.
- Make sure you check out the TSA website on traveling with children. Know what you can and cannot bring when traveling with children. I would have the site pulled up on your phone so if for some reason TSA gives you issues you can pull up the site.
- Arrive earlier than you normally would so that you have plenty of time to get through security. If you are bringing breast milk/formula over the allowed ounces they will need to check it and that can take time. You will also need to carry your baby through the scanner while they check any strollers or car seats.
- Make sure you notify them at the start if you have allowed liquids over the approved oz. This will make it easier for them to know that additional screening is needed.
- Put your baby in rompers. So, if you need to change a diaper on the plane it will be easy to do without having to undress them. Also make sure you bring extra clothing for your child and yourself. If they spit up, you will want to change.
- Children 2 years of age and younger can be carried on and travel as a lap child. If you can afford it buy a separate seat so you can put their car seat there during the flight. Bringing your own car seat is a good idea.
- If you are traveling with a companion have them board during the early boarding for families with kids. Have them get the seat set up and everything put away. You stay in the airport with your little one till almost everyone has boarded. This way they are not just sitting around, and they can crawl off some energy. This is a great strategy if you are traveling with toddlers also. Check out my blog about traveling with a toddler, many of the tips will work when traveling with a baby.
We had many comments about how quiet she was, and I credit that to being prepared and not feeling rushed/stressed. Don’t forget to ask for their first set of wings when you fly.
Ashlyn is our rainbow baby and we are so happy to have her in our life. I struggled with PPD because I did not have the pregnancy that I hoped for. Seeing pictures of others having what I wanted was hard. I felt so bad and low, I hated myself for feeling this way. Could not understand why seeing all these happy events made me sad. I already suffer from depression. It took me some time to realize I was suffering from PPD on top of my depression. Finding a counselor to help me work through my issues of never having the typical baby belly, not being able to breastfeed fully and having to stop after about 3-4 months was key.
When I had my baby, I wanted that experience of just holding my baby while she breastfed. I was always worrying about her getting enough milk, the fact that my milk barely came in did not help. Although I was not happy I could not breastfeed I never had issues with using formula. I fully am behind fed is best. Yes, I think breastfeeding is preferable. If a mother cannot or does not want to there is nothing wrong with formula. No one should be made to feel bad about taking care of their baby. They should do what is right for them.
We had a small party for her 1st birthday compared to many. It was just a few friends in our condo common room. We did kind of a potluck for food and cake. My mom got her a hanbok and we played a traditional game that Korean’s play on a child’s first birthday called toljabee. You lay out items representing possible careers/interests and you let the child pick one or two items and that is supposed to be what they grow up to be. She picked a ball (for sports) and a paintbrush (for the arts). We did this because my husband was adopted from South Korea when he was about 7. We wanted to honor some part of his heritage.
Yaaa we no longer have a newborn/baby, we officially have a toddler 🙂